So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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