They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
