I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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