I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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