I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
