a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If I die, sorry about rent.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
