dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
