How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
