): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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