I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
my poor anus
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
