If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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