Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
