grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
