i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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