Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
