We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize