kristin has been a bad kristin
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
