toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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