overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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