Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
