Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just googled if crying burns calories
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
