thus making me awesome and them whores
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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