good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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