U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
