Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
