Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize