i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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