She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
