he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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