I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
