I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
