i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
