We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
