I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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