He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
