on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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