Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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