just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
