used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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