once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
