so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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