6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
