My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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