im drinking this country out of the recession.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
