I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
