4 words: hood of his car
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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