So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
