I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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