i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
