It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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