***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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