Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
COCAINE IS GR8
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
