5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
