I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
