so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
