One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
