It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
