I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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