Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
