i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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