Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i came on her dog
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
