I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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