I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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