I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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