After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
