return my video game
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
