I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
